How do we Accept the Loss of our Loved Ones?

Having a life on Earth means no one escapes Pain and Loss.  We all reach a point of understanding that everyone we know and love will die; we will die as well. Or I should say, it’s our physical body that dies and we in fact live on…..forever.

That may not be your belief system and I’m not writing here today to convince you of anything or to adopt my beliefs.  But I do find some comfort knowing 100% that our loved ones are very much alive and with us; just not in the way we would like.

On August 3 2017, our family and another was changed forever because of a “senseless” and horrific car accident.  For weeks we walked around in a dream or should I say nightmare. 

When tragedies happen to us, the first experience is disbelief, shock, anger and playing the ever dreaded “What If” game.  I remember thinking “Dawn, (yes I address myself) horrible things happen to people all the time….why not me?”

And even though I believe after the body is no longer of use to us and we go to a “better place”, it doesn’t stop the grief from sometimes becoming debilitating.

Here’s the kicker- every single one of us on this planet decided to be here now. 

We are living in the confines of time and space in order to experience things like Love, loss, pain and Joy.  We are a spirit having a human experience. (Thank you, Wayne Dyer)  The Earth is one tough Boot Camp!

But Death is not an end. 

When your lessons here are done for now, and you move on, your loved ones will be right there to greet you, to laugh with you when you realize “heaven” is real, to celebrate with you.  Even your lost pets will be there!

And while you are still incarnated, your loved ones on the “other side” are beside you, cheering you on and reveling at your strength, your ability to still love and forgive. And they look forward to the time you get to see all the wonderful things they see now in the afterlife.

And I know many of you have received signs from your crossed over loved ones, letting you know that they indeed live on and they are ok.They are still checking in on you and saying I love you still.   

You will suddenly see butterflies come close, coins mysteriously appear as well as feathers.  You look up in the sky for no reason only to see a rainbow.

But the question is, how do we handle the grief, the overwhelming loss? The sense of dread knowing we have to face each day without them.

If you haven’t read a great book titled The Top Ten Things dead people want to Tell You by Mike Dooley, I highly recommend it.

On the very first page it reads, “To the living….it’s still your turn”.

We are privileged to have our life on Earth.  You may tense and reject such a statement initially; especially if you or someone you know is going through cancer, or you’ve been abused, or you can name off a dozen or so horrible things happening right now.

But you’ve heard me say before that we CHOOSE our own thoughts and realities. You can choose to see suffering and lack all around you OR you can choose to find something to be grateful for no matter what is happening.

Your entire world will change depending on what you focus on. You are most powerful and Thoughts Become Things.

I see life as a unique experiment; we try a bunch of new things, have some fun, take risks, get our hearts broken and try to learn to live with more love and compassion.

You are still here.  Don’t do a disservice to your passed on loved ones by giving up your time here.

Every single person is at a different stage in their learning process; this I believe.  And the people in your lives now are here by no accident.  And those who have left you were also part of your greater story.

You have learned what true strength is in the face of adversity, you may have gotten the ability to forgive quicker, you met the love of your life and now have a second family to lean on.

We will not get over the loss of our loved ones.  We do pay a price for Love.  Our strength will be tested. 

And when your time is over and you leave this earth plane (again), all your loved ones will be there if you choose to have them.  You see we also get to Choose “over there”. 🙂  And dropping this cumbersome earthly body means we get to create stuff faster than we could believe now.

Don’t miss out on what your earthly life still has to offer.  If you are still here, then you still have things to do, wisdom to share, people to make smile. places to explore and dreams to make come true.

So cry when you need to.  Smile at the good times you were able to share.  Thank them for the love and laughter they brought to you.

And say a hearty hello when they pop in from time to time to say, “I’m STILL here darling.”