Are You Comfortable With Putting Yourself First?

You Are Worthy Of Daily High Fives!

Have you ever given yourself a high five in the mirror??

I know….weird, right?  At least I thought so too….until I started doing this actual thing!

I got the book The High Five Habit by Mel Robbins on my audible app (highly recommend this book)  One of the FIRST things she talks about is adopting this habit of giving yourself a literal high five in the bathroom mirror. Every single day.

Did I feel ridiculous, alone even, in my own bathroom the first time I attempted this personal high five?  You bet your boots I did!!  And the second and third time too….but THEN I actually started looking forward to this little ritual in the morning.

There is scientific research behind this action that helps connect our brain with our emotions.  This simple act of cheering ourselves on gives us the foundational emotional support we all crave:

To be seen.  To be heard. To be acknowledged.

We are SO good at cheering our friends, colleagues, strangers, random athletes, but….when it comes to ourselves….sheesh, the “bordering on abuse” things you’ve said to yourself.  I know you have, because I’ve done it too.

So, let’s start treating ourselves better.  Be our own cheerleaders and treat ourselves the way we look after the ones we love.

And if you’re an Empath like me, then YOU KNOW it is of vital importance to look after yourself.  Too often we forget the importance of harmonizing our energy; we have good intentions towards other because we feel their pain and challenges….but if we aren’t shining at 100% and draining our energy, how much help are we really?

Let’s do some radical self care starting NOW!

Self-care has become a buzz word for awhile now….but what does that word ACTUALLY mean?

It means asking yourself what you need and following through on the honest answer.

Practicing self-care can be as simple as getting to bed earlier on a work night, or as hard as taking a look at some of the habits you’ve created for yourself and their long-term effects.

Whatever it looks like, I think it’s also important to realize that a) self-care looks different for everyone. 

And b) it is 100% vital to your health and well-being.

Looking after yourself may feel foreign and even down right uncomfortable.
But what I like to tell my clients is that if you don’t take care of yourself and run yourself down, then you are already being a less helpful mother, father, partner, friend.

You know the saying~ “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”


Plus, as a parent you are the example your children see as a means to navigate this world. They learn from your behaviours.

Making sure our own needs are met is as important as taking care of those we love most. Maybe, dare I say, even moreso.

I like to look at self-care as an intervention tool that keeps you from being completely sucked into the vortex.

You know what I’m talking about. When life becomes overwhelming and you find yourself standing on the precipice gazing into the dark abyss.

Ok, yes a little dramatic.  But with all we have been dealing with, it’s time you get uber serious about your Self Care Plan.

I highly recommend it starts with giving yourself a daily high five in the mirror each morning.

Look RIGHT at yourself and say “YOU GOT THIS!”

Do you know the history of self care?  It actually started during the civil rights era.

It can’t be lost on us that one of the concepts they were fighting for was (and remains) the basic human right to self-care.

People of color were often denied medical treatment at hospitals and healthcare centers. The government had turned its back on them. Self-care, quite literally, became a matter of life and death. They were fighting an exhausting battle and the only support to be found was in each other and within themselves.



Today, self care needs to be looked at as a necessary proactive way to avoid burnout.  I have always and will continue to be proactive with my health.  I don’t ‘wait to get sick and then act’.

I don’t wait for life to get easier or better.  Life is happening NOW and it goes in the blink of an eye.  Best find ways to really celebrate this body you have that carries your special soul.

And I am mindful of doing an act of self care daily.  And you should to.

A Self-Care Plan is a fail-safe, created by you, and filled with your favorite self-care activities.

Customizing your own personal roadmap when you’re NOT in crisis mode will help you reflect on what you need at the timeWhen you feel things starting to creep up, you have your “survival kit” all ready to go.

The reality is that only YOU know how intense your stress levels can get and what resources are available to you.  The most courageous self-care act: Learning to Say, “I Need Help”

Being able to identify the need for a “personal moment” is critical. However, the reality is most of us are already pretty good at ignoring the “nudges” to take a break.

You may be someone who is too busy running around and won’t even stop for gas when the light comes on; or you don’t feel like you deserve a break even; maybe you fill your schedule to be busy as a means to avoid other uncomfortable things in you life.

Running on empty will serve NO ONE in the end.
It will however, harm your health, well-being and potentially lead to some pretty serious issues.  Don’t ignore your own “low fuel light”, please.

Pull Over, Park It. Refuel. 

This isn’t always easy and, in fact, often requires a good bit of personal courage.

I like the “name it to tame it” statement. Acknowledge your concerns or fears to someone you trust.

I’m a little nervous to admit this and I hope you will accept it, but I need to take a step back. I need a quiet moment to find clarity of mind and spirit.”

Your friend or confident knows that he or she is being trusted with your vulnerability and you get to release your burden that inhibit your self care. It’s a pretty good feeling all around. 

When you find yourself in a total panic mode, and your sympathetic nervous of fight or flight has taken the wheel, I want you to do this.….. (another valuable tip taken from Mel Robbins)

Take both your hands and place them on your heart.  Press into your chest and say these 3 things:

I am Ok. I am safe. I am loved.

Repeat while pressing into your chest and taking deep breaths.  Do this until you begin to feel calmness come back into your body.

Finally, do take some time this month to create your own list and “road map” to self care.



Remember that it is unique to you.  Find the things that you enjoy doing and make your list. And YES, carve out time to do at least one a day.